Telling my roommates about my date tonight, I think I used the work "awkward" at least 50 times. Brandon is a guy that I went to middle school with, and last year he found me on facebook, turned out he goes to Berkeley. We went on a few dates, but, as much as I wanted to, I was just not attracted to him...there was just no chemistry. He seemed to think otherwise. Last semester he wanted to get together many times, but between my crazy schedule and my attempt to let him know I was not into him, we didn't see each other. When I got back from NY, he contacted me, and I didn't really know how to get out of it...I felt bad for blowing him off so many times last semester, so I told him I would meet him downtown SF. If figured he had to realize there was nothing between us, and that we could just hang out no problem as friends, right? WRONG.
From the minute we met up, it was weird. We said hi, hugged, stood there awkwardly until I just said we should get coffee. Walking to the mall, we were making small talk about our break and it wasn't too bad. We got coffee, sat down and just talked. I told him a little about my trip to NY, he told me about his trip to Colorado, then silence. Ohhh awkward awkward silence. This just happened the entire time we were together. I would search my brain ("come ON Chelsea just think of anything to say..ANYTHING!") we would have another short little conversation, then silence again. Oh it was awful. We decided to go see what movies were playing. This thrilled me because that meant no speaking for 2 hours. As we were walking toward the escalator he says (and really sarcastically) "those are some interesting boots you've got there." Ok. These are cute new boots I got in NY...nothing weird about them, dark gray leather with 3 buttons on each side. I just wanted to be like alright...next time I will just wear sweats...screw looking cute for you...oh wait...THERE WON'T BE A NEXT TIME!!!!! I mean what kind of guy says something like that to a girl he likes? Weird. Anyway, we saw Cloverfield (I don't think I would recommend it), we walked out in silence. Yes, awkward silence. We talked about the movie a bit, then just decided to get dinner. We sat there eating, and did not say much. I just looked down at my food, said anything that came to my mind just to try to diminish the silence a little, but without much luck.
I thought for sure this was the end of this hell...but when I was walking toward the muni station, he asked if I wanted to go to the music store with him. I am a bad liar, panicked and agreed because I could not think of an excuse to get out of out. I was screaming inside of my head. I was MISERABLE. It was painful. And the weird thing is that it was almost like he did not sense the akwardness because if he did he would not keep prolonging it. He is a very intelligent guy-always was in middle school, and now he is an engineering major at Berkeley. But maybe he just has no smarts when it comes to the ladies? Maybe all his dates are this awful and he just doesn't know any different and thinks this is how they should feel? Who knows. Well from here it did not get any better. I basically just followed him around the store, and we would just point to artists and ask if each other had heard of them, or reminisced about groups back from middle school. We went to the second floor and it was just the same thing. I was dying...I have not felt this uncomfortable in a LONG time, but I didn't know how to leave!!!!
So then we walked up toward union square, and he saw a DSW shoe store, and he said he needed dress shoes for his internship. So I sat on a bench and watched him try on a few pairs...it was thrilling. Then we went to Starbucks and got something to drink, and sat down in Union Square, and I just sat with my hands between my legs and looked straight ahead...if I looked at him it was only for a second, because I know he wanted to make a move. After a few minutes of talking about extremely boring an pointless topics, I said I was cold and FINALLY got to go home.
Just had to share my misery. Oh man it was SOOOOOOO awkward. Awkward awkward awkward!!!!